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Q: What motivated you to share your father’s story? A: “Because all of my life, on Sunday there was always a stream of visitors at our house. Papa would tell stories about his life experiences, which amazed people. Back then, I simply took these stories for granted. But, as I got older, I realized that they were unique and shouldn’t be lost. When he was 89, I asked him, ‘Papa, do you mind if I sit down and tape record you?’ At first he was reluctant, but then he finally consented. I neither wanted to lose these stories, nor let his image be forgotten. His life story was simply too good and amazing not to remain after him. I wanted to preserve them. Then, after he died, I had this feeling sitting on my chest that I had to write them. I started taking things off the tape recorder. It took me a long time with raising my six children and running a business with about 1000 customers. After 13 years, I finally thought ‘I’ve got to finish it!’ and gave myself a time-limit of 70 days, never realizing that the day I finished it was ‘coincidentally’ the Feast of Saint Joseph! The manuscript was edited by an English Literature professor, who loved it and gave me valuable suggestions. I wanted the book to be done by Papa’s birthday and I did finish it by then, which was July 20th. Upon completing the book, that feeling hanging over me went away. At first I sent it to publishers, who usually send back postcards saying they’re not interested, but instead, they wrote back and complimented the book, but still didn’t want to publish it because it wasn’t written by anyone, either well-known or famous. So, my husband and I self-published it at the suggestion of Linda Schaeffer, a CNN photo journalist, whom I met at a book signing.”
Q: I've only finished two-thirds of your book, but am quite impressed so far. The way you present your father is both heroic and the quintessential gentleman. What were some of his negative sides? A: “Because of all that happened to him in his life, my father appeared on the outside to be both stoic and stern. In his younger life, he was indeed very serious. In contrast to this was his giving nature to both people and the Church. I think he carried deep grief within himself, making him seem more severe than he really was. When he finally relaxed into his American life, he became less disciplinary, softening up over time. This is evidenced in my book by the letter, which he wrote to us children in the later years of his life, apologizing for his ‘sternness and disciplinary nature'. He died 15 years ago when he was 92, and people still talk about him even now.”
Q: I must admit that your book is also quite humbling to me: all of the suffering that your father endured--not to mention your whole family. How do you think your father managed to keep such a positive attitude and outlook on life? A: “There’s only one answer for that and it’s quite obvious: his deep love for God! He had wanted to be a priest until he met my mother. Just one example of his humble view of himself: He never ate sweets except on Sunday, even though he loved these. Later on, he gave them up completely, even on Sunday. When I asked him why, he replied ‘Sylvia, I never did anything for God!’ When I told this to our pastor, he answered in marvel, ‘If your father never did anything for God, we’re all in big trouble!’ Papa never preached anything, though; instead, he practiced it, by the way he lived and what he said to people. He restored people’s faith just by the way they saw him live. He did, however, have just enough mischievousness in him to make him a real, down-to-earth person.”
Q: What do you think your father’s image was of the "American Dream” and did he personally attain this, or like so many, rather only achieve it vicariously through his children? A: “He came here for a better life. He wanted to leave all the heartache. There was nothing to keep him over there due to the conduct number five, which he received in school and whose story I relate in my book. This would not have allowed him to do anything except be a laborer in Italy. But, it was also his American Dream that finally broke him. Also mentioned in my book, after having arrived in the U.S., he had a post-traumatic stress breakdown on top of everything else, because of all he had gone through in the horrors of WWI. Papa wasn't concerned at all about worldly goods. Regarding us children, he wasn't material at all. He was anxious to see us children okay and that our lives were good. He only cared about the quality of our lives and nothing else. He didn’t care about our ‘social advancement’. Nonetheless, all of his children went to college. The oldest son worked in the corporate world; three of my brothers and my sister became teachers and I became an LPN [nurse]. My youngest brother, Frank, became a successful chef. Frank didn’t seem to be settled down and solid in his life and this had caused my father great worry, so he was greatly relieved when Frank finally got a job and settled down with a wife, family and good job. Papa wasn’t at all concerned about either being wealthy or successful, rather, that we were good people: both prayerful and God-loving.”
Q: Besides nursing, what is or was your profession? A: “I had a few others. I was always at home with our six children, however, when I worked as Office Manager for our company: within the lawn-care industry; our office was in our home. I also did some newspaper reporting. Now I’m ‘retired’ and busier than ever.”
Q: Of all the characters in your book, besides your father, the one who impressed me the most was your Nonna [grandmother]. I couldn’t help feeling her frustration and oppression with great empathy. How do you believe she endured this? A: “She had no other choice! Women had no other options back then. For example, they weren’t allowed to sign any legal, business papers. She had grown up with this mentality. She was a very intelligent, strong and determined woman, who devoted herself to her family. When she was able to later on, she bought the property in Michigan, as recounted in my book. From this wise investment, we are still benefiting today. She also made sure her son went to medical school and that her children had what they needed in life; she was very protective of her family. As an only child, she inherited her parents’ property and valuables, which she used for the good of her children.”
Q: And what do you feel about the subsequent generations’ emancipation and women’s rights today? A: “I think that women’s rights and emancipation finally came to the dignity and respect God intended for women, but then SOME women went way too far, to the point of some neglecting their families for their careers, upon the false premise of feeling ‘menial’ by ‘not being--at least career-wise or materially—fulfilled’. What many don’t realize is that being both a truly successful wife and mother, you are indeed the most successful woman in the world! That said, even though my father was an ‘Old-Country’ father, he always helped his wife at home, scrubbing the floors before she even got up in the morning, before he went to work, cooking Sunday dinner for her, washing windows etc.”
Q: Did your family ever express any regrets about having immigrated to the U.S.? A: “I asked my father, ‘Papa why did you ever come to the USA? It’s so beautiful over there in Cloz.’ And he responded, ‘Beautiful yes, but the living was poor.’ I never heard any of them say they wanted to return. Papa only returned once to see his parents before they died. Mama visited once also, traveling with relatives.”
Q: What about during WWII; was your family forced, like mine, to become U.S. citizens? A: “No, my dad became a US citizen five years after he had come to this country. My mother was already American, because she had been born in Pennsylvania during my grandparents’ short stay there; they later came back permanently.”
Q: What do you feel is the main message of both your father’s story and your book? A: “Ooh--I never thought about that before... [laughing, then pausing] let me think...hum... The spirit of man; yes, the spirit of a man! I just wrote about who my father was on the inside. When I finished the book, I knew Papa’s story would give men a sense of their own dignity and worth; a sense of victory over life's hardships. Men do indeed love the book, but so do women and even young people. Older people especially appreciate both the memories it stirs up in them and the faith-life of my father.”
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